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Difficult Mothers Understanding and Overcoming Their Power Terri Apter 9780393081022 Books

Download As PDF : Difficult Mothers Understanding and Overcoming Their Power Terri Apter 9780393081022 Books

Difficult Mothers Understanding and Overcoming Their Power Terri Apter 9780393081022 Books

While the author absolutely nails the experience of growing up with a difficult mother (in a profoundly, overwhelmingly powerful manner) (the 'Understanding...' part), she fails brilliantly in the "overcoming" part. It's like finally finding the doctor who can treat the life-long non-stop headaches, sitting in the office and reading the literature that shows 'he understands...'...

And then, the office closes. "Just read the brochures..."

?????????

That's what the chapters felt like. "Yes! I'm connecting with someone who deeply gets this life-long charade... And 'all' we need is an arrow pointing to 'say this'... 'Do that'... for we have lived with "this" for a life time and are very (!!!!!!!) weary. We don't want to hurt her; we want to take care of ourselves and draw a boundary with good tape.

Holding a difficult parent in our soul can become complete frustration. Not only are we tired of the lifelong battle, we may want to end it well (if possible) or concisely say our thoughts... and since "over" is there, we want a simple examples of what needs to be done. Something to say... Something to write... It's not there.

It's not there.

Excuse me, while I appreciate the linguistic and research skills used to truly show why we hurt, I had hoped just as much (if not more) to read the "overcoming" part. It's not there, and since THAT IS WHAT I NEEDED!!! I can only give 2 stars.


Tags : Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power [Terri Apter] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. <strong>An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters.</strong> Mother love is often seen as sacred,Terri Apter,Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power,W. W. Norton & Company,0393081028,Interpersonal Relations,Parenting - Motherhood,Control (Psychology),Control (Psychology).,Families - Psychological aspects,Mother and child,Mother and child.,Mothers - Psychology,Mothers;Psychology.,Child CareParenting,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Parenting Parent & Adult Child,Family & Relationships,Family & Relationships General,Family & Relationships Parenting Motherhood,Family Parenting Childbirth,Family Development,Family psychology,General,Mothers,Parent And Child,Psychology,Psychology Interpersonal Relations,SELF-HELP Emotions

Difficult Mothers Understanding and Overcoming Their Power Terri Apter 9780393081022 Books Reviews

Good read. Explains various difficult mothers and the impact they sometimes have after their death. The battle sometimes continues years after.
A lot of insight in this book about the relationships between mothers and their children, and how those relationships affect their children's childhood and adult lives. It was so interesting that I literally couldn't put it down once I started to read. It really is true that your relationship with your mother will shape the course of your adult life; gave me insight I had never thought about concerning my own relationships with my children. A must read.
A very well written and detailed account of Painful and dysfunctional ties that bond a child to psychological and emotional wounds that are extremely difficult to free from. The author, Terri Apter, does a magnificent job at emphasizing what most families go through, what good-enough mothering looks and feels like. With such great depictions, it’s easy to understand who difficult Mother’s really are, how they act and how their actions implicate ongoing pain and suffering to their children.
I recommend this book to many patients, who are parents themselves, see similar painful patterns with their parenting styles and with their now current mother/child relationship.

I highly recommend this brilliant psychological piece. It definitely provides insight, understanding and can definitely provide you with the empowerment needed to move forward and embrace healthy change.
I bought a copy of this book (and many others with a similar topic) as research for a book I'm writing. Like me, my main character had a difficulty mother, who continuously undermined her daughter wishes and refused to listen to her and understand her. However, as the mother 'tactics' and the character reactions are different from that of my mother and my own, I felt the need to understand the motivations and responses at a deeper level.

What I couldn't have predicted was how this book would shed new light on events, which had deeply hurt me during my formative years. Suddenly, I found possible explanations for my mother incoherent behaviour. Also I was able to see my own reactions to her and my interaction with other people in that same new light.

I desperately needed this book on my teens and twenties, when I couldn't make sense of my mother actions. From what I know now, I couldn't have done anything to placate her, however I could have saved much of the energy I spent trying to appease her. And I could have found my own peace much earlier.

In summary, I can only praise this book and I would recommend it to anyone struggling to find their own voice or peace, under the disturbances of a difficulty mother.
I am in awe -- I've read dozens of developmental psychology books in my adult life, yet not one comes close to the beautiful simplicity of "Difficult Mothers." Apter distills complex psychological theories into a conversational prose that is unparalleled in self-help literature. I echo another reviewer's comments -- this is the best book available for individuals who've had a troubled relationship with their primary caregiver, be it a mother, father, aunt, or grandparent.

I am not a psychologist by trade but try to keep abreast of the academic literature regarding developmental trauma. For those healing from a difficult relationship with their primary caregivers, I highly recommend this book alongside Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma and Allen's Coping with Trauma Hope Through Understanding. Together, these three books will pave the way for healing, and they are especially appropriate for individuals who may not have access to professional help.
While the author absolutely nails the experience of growing up with a difficult mother (in a profoundly, overwhelmingly powerful manner) (the 'Understanding...' part), she fails brilliantly in the "overcoming" part. It's like finally finding the doctor who can treat the life-long non-stop headaches, sitting in the office and reading the literature that shows 'he understands...'...

And then, the office closes. "Just read the brochures..."

?????????

That's what the chapters felt like. "Yes! I'm connecting with someone who deeply gets this life-long charade... And 'all' we need is an arrow pointing to 'say this'... 'Do that'... for we have lived with "this" for a life time and are very (!!!!!!!) weary. We don't want to hurt her; we want to take care of ourselves and draw a boundary with good tape.

Holding a difficult parent in our soul can become complete frustration. Not only are we tired of the lifelong battle, we may want to end it well (if possible) or concisely say our thoughts... and since "over" is there, we want a simple examples of what needs to be done. Something to say... Something to write... It's not there.

It's not there.

Excuse me, while I appreciate the linguistic and research skills used to truly show why we hurt, I had hoped just as much (if not more) to read the "overcoming" part. It's not there, and since THAT IS WHAT I NEEDED!!! I can only give 2 stars.